Random Ramblings of Delusional Persons
by Crystal Shores
Summary: What happens when Sarah, Jareth, and the most mighty Authoress are put together in one house? Insanity, of course! Somewhat OOC, J/S throughout. Read and I won't put pepper juice in your eyedrops! -note meany Authoress-
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue

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**

ME:

**_Dear Readers, _**

**_Due to a massive amount of requests for a continuation of the "humorous part" of my story; "Dearest Sarah": I have created this fan fiction to meet your demands. _**

****

**_Sincerely yours, _**

**_-Crystal A. Shores _**

JARETH: You are _so_ proud of yourself for having readers _demanding_ things; aren't you?

ME: Shut up, oh one whose head is like a pincushion. Who am I to argue with the readers?

JARETH: You argue with _everyone_, darling.

ME: And your point is? Anyway: this is a prologue.

JARETH: You also point out the obvious far too much.

ME: Didn't I tell you to shut up?

JARETH: Do you want to go back into the closet?

ME: You wouldn't dare!!!! I'll just have yodeladyhoo talk you out of it again.

JARETH: Tsk, tsk; sending your readers in to do _your_ dirty work. What sort of an Authoress are you?

ME: You know; you really should be quiet. I _am_ the Authoress, after all.

JARETH: Oh, I shiver. What are you going to do? Poke me to death with a pen?

ME: I wrote you into this fic and I can write you right back out, little mister.

JARETH: _-is insulted-_ "Little mister"? How dare you call me that?!?! Me; the all-powerful king of the goblins!!!!!!!!

ME: …you sound like a girl when you're mad.

JARETH: _-is in shock that someone would dare insult his royal person-_

ME: What? You do!

JARETH: _-sobs-_ It's true!!!!!

ME: Stop that! You don't act like that!!!!

JARETH: Don't panic too much, love. Remember; I only say what you write me as saying.

ME: _-stares at Jareth in shock-_

JARETH: What?

SARAH: You called her "love".

JARETH: And?

SARAH: She's a girl.

JARETH: What of it?

SARAH: Her mind is reeling.

JARETH: Oh, for the love of Sarah _WHY?!?!?!?!_

SARAH: _-ignores last comment- _I think she's trying to figure out what your kids will look like.

JARETH: _-is disgusted- _

SARAH: Oh, Authoress: I have a problem!!

ME: What now?

SARAH: I just went and read "It Is Strange…" and I go crazy in it!!!!!

ME: And this is a problem…why?

SARAH: _-shrieks-_ _I'M NOT CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

JARETH: I beg to disagree.

SARAH: _SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!_

JARETH: _-stares at Sarah with odd expression- _

ME: Anyway; as I was saying before Mr. and Miss Crazy over here butted in-

JARETH: I do not "butt" into anything.

ME AND SARAH: _-exchange highly amused look and begin giggling-_

JARETH: _-disconcerted-_ What?

ME: You said "butt".

SARAH: With both "T"s. You can't worm out of this one: it's in print.

JARETH: Kill me now.

ME: Too busy, deary-doll. So…this fic will be the random ramblings of…what _now_?!??!?!?!

JARETH: -_stops raising his hand-_ You have no disclaimer.

SARAH: Déjà vu, anyone?

ME: **Disclaimer: I do not own anything that has to do with the movie "Labyrinth".**

ME: Happy?

JARETH: That was painfully blunt.

ME: I. Don't. _**CARE!!!!!!!!**_ _–shouts-_ _AS I WAS SAYING BEFORE_—**_mzgfhjsthtrsa!!!!!!!!!_**

SARAH: Untie the Authoress!!!!!!!

JARETH: But love; she annoys me. _–gives Sarah very-hard-to-resist puppy dog eyes- _

SARAH: _-resists-_

JARETH: _-is annoyed but unties Authoress-_

ME: _-sobs heartbrokenly-_

JARETH: _-is uncomfortable-_ What's wrong?

ME: I thought you loved _meeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

JARETH: _-backs away in confusion_- What?!

SARAH: You called _me _love; effectively ending your relationship with the Authoress.

ME: Hey, Sarah; did you notice that Jareth's been confused _a lot_ in this chapter?

JARETH: Because you wrote me that way!!!!

ME: Shut up! You're taking away from the illusion.

JARETH: What illusion?! You're a crazy fan-girl who talks to fictional characters! And how did you go from heartbroken to annoyed so quickly?

ME: Poor editing. Well, that and the fact that you're easy to get over.

JARETH: _-is shocked_-

ME: So as I was saying-

SARAH: What were you saying? I'm sorry; I wasn't listening.

ME: Augh!! I give up! Here's the story; enjoy! I'm going to go get a pretzel. _–leaves_-

JARETH: _-to Sarah- _I'm not _really_ easy to get over…am I?

SARAH: _-dies laughing-

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**Next Time: Chapter One-In Which I Protest. Review!!!!**_


	2. Not A Chapter!

**Me: I thought I might as well put this here. It's a review from Yodeladyhoo that I found quite interesting.**

**Jareth: -mutters- You would. You know, you're only doing this to make up for the fact that you haven't updated in, well...forever.**

**Me: -off-key and loudly- _It's ONly FOREVER!! Not LONG at AlL!!_**

**Jareth: Make it stop!**

**Sarah: Oh, you were so asking for that.**

**Jareth: My ears! My precious royal ears!!**

**Me: Whatever. Just read:**

Yodeladyhoo: takes both the Authoress and Jareth by the hand each

Yodeladyhoo: There, there, the two of you. Jareth, you should know the power of words. You did call her love and darling. What is she to expect?

Jareth: But that's what she put in my mouth!

Yodeladyhoo: with a wicked ginAnd do you always accept what is put in your mouth?

C.A.S.: looks up at that question expectantly, after staring at the floor dejectedly

Jareth: takes up staring at the floor where C.A.S. has left off--no--

Yodeladyhoo: So, you chose to accept the words of the Mighty Authoress as your own?

Jareth: glares

Yodeladyhoo: raises an eyebrow Well? Pretend I'm blind. You need to use your words, your Royalness.

Jareth: mumbles --yes. If they are the only words I have.

Yodeladyhoo: So, Crystal, if you want him to apologize to you for raising your expectations falsely, do you know what you have to do?

C.A.S.: nods headMm-hmm.

Yodeladyhoo: And, it doesn't involve a baseball bat, does it?

C.S.A.: scrunches her face Aww, please...

Yodeladyhoo: raises eyebrow

C.A.S.: --no--

Yodeladyhoo: Good. Now, get to work!

Did I help?

**P.S.**

**Me: I really hope Yodeladyhoo doesn't mind me doing this, as I didn't think to ask her.**

**Jareth: You don't think at all, darling.**

**_Next Time...Something!!_**


End file.
